May 2013
2 tags
insomniaccity:
(anything) feat. Pitbull
2 tags
danalmostcaughtonfire:
tunetechfrosthead:
nothisisnotdog:
*ANGRILY OPPA GANGNAM STYLES TOWARDS YOU*
*VIOLENTLY TWERKS AWAY*
DO yOU KNOW HOW FUCKING FUNNY IT IS TO MENTALLY PICTURE THIS LIKE IMAGINE THIS LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS JUST START FUCKING DANCING TOWARD YOU WITH A MEAN LOOK AND YOU JUST TURN AROUND LIKE A SASS GOD AND START SHAKING YOUR ASS AND RUNNING AWAY LIK E THAT IS SO...
1 tag
Jake literally made us stand outside in 40• weather so he could talk about how the stars are probably just lightbulbs hanging from heaven.
I’m just really surly about milkshakes I guess
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Jake took like thirty blurry pictures of me staring at my milkshake suspiciously.
2 tags
I’m with jake and xtina and we’re literally the most stoned anyone has ever been
1 tag
Some dude just shot gunned a beer and puked. I want to leave.
kushroom:
All my french bloggers say swagé
1 tag
Someone finally shared their drugs with me.
1 tag
This bonfire sucks, I was lied to. There is no goddamn beer here.
5 tags
I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME REMEMBER THE NAME OF THIS BOOK
it was like a dirt poor boy living in a walled off desert city sold water to people to feed himself and found out he could use water magic or whatever? and some old dude took him to stay with other kids who could use water magic and the poor boy was the best at it even though the old dude was like. abusing them and neglecting them and...
space jam was kind of a weird movie
acommonrose:
fuckyourfreckles:
combeferresque:
fourfucks:
all fandoms have that one fucking overused quote that is on 99.9% of the edits
#genius billionaire playboy philanthropist gripped you tight and raised you from a highly functioning sociopath and i swear we were infinite
you fuckass
#we were also unable to fathom her hurricane or my drizzle into stars or constellations or...
royal-high:
a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
ok so apparently not but i probably will get an id today omfg
retaking my dumb fucking permit test today at age nineteen so i can schedule my fucking road test and get my fucking license like a productive adult
1 tag
m tired.„„
I’m reading the secret history and I’m getting SUCH Rose and Dave impressions from Camilla and Charles.
1 tag
xtina is my beer pong secret weapon
3 tags
remember last summer when i was so tipsy from flip cup that i attempted to put an open beer can back into the cooler
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remember last summer when i was so drunk on the beach that i skinny dipped (? i think?) and peed under a rental home’s porch and then sent jake even more embarrassing text messages
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remember over winter break when i was so drunk i complained about the vodka tasting like swedish fish and then fell dead asleep
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remember that time last summer when i was so drunk i was taking slugs of tequila straight from the bottle and then i sent jake a bunch of embarrassing texts
unfollower:
no see lesbians are not more accepted than gay men they’re more sexualized please do not get those 2 things confused
the-lonely-scottish-guy:
‘stop being overdramatic’ they say
‘i dont know what you mean’ i say as i descend from the ceiling, surrounded by mist
stylinsmut:
the first smut i ever read was about a girl listening to these people having sex in a bathroom stall and when they were done she snuck in and it was like “she saw semen all over the floor and bent over to pick one up”
she picked up a sperm
just one
me: avoids getting in the shower
me: avoids getting in the shower
me: avoids getting in the shower
me: avoids getting in the shower
me: gets in the shower
me: i have ARRIVED IN PARADISE AND I SHALL NEVER LEAVE
reasons u should adopt me as ur pet
jesus-christ-official:
- i have soft hair on my head as welll as soft little hairs all over my arms and legs
- i don’t talk much, i am ve ry quiet
- i will let u boop my nose whenever
- i am expert at cuddling
- easy 2 care for, all i need is food and sunshiney spots to sleep in
- please if u don’t take me they’ll put me in a college and make me do the essays
1 tag
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insistedonbeingtwisted replied to your post: insistedonbeingtwisted replied to your post: …
*cue seductive eyebrows*
we he hell now
1 tag
insistedonbeingtwisted replied to your post: insistedonbeingtwisted replied to your post: i…
I did the good grammars there
all hot and bothered by syntactical ambiguity how did you know
1 tag
insistedonbeingtwisted replied to your post: insistedonbeingtwisted replied to your post: i…
skateboards are so radical but they also grind a lot ;) if you now what I mean
yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
1 tag
insistedonbeingtwisted replied to your post: i have like no sex drive
I may or may not have the opposite problem. I cant seem to control my libido.
i have these occasional days where i’m like “yeah i’m gonna fuck a dude i’m gonna fuck so many dudes yeah!!” but most of the time i’m. a skateboard.
2 tags
my hobbies include convincing jake he is wrong, making inappropriately sexual remarks to jake, making fun of jake for being six feet tall but i could totally take him in a fight
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insistedonbeingtwisted replied to your post: i spend like five days a month feeling nothing but…
I spend 365 days of HORNGRY.
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has emotional talk with jake about wet dreams
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i spend like five days a month feeling nothing but horngry
stopharry2013:
I never had a “boys are icky and gross” phase I’ve literally been chasing dick since birth
jackingtonoff:
if sugar we’re going down doesn’t still get u amped every time u hear it then u ain’t no friend of mine
